"The rose is fairest when 'tis budding new, and hope is brightest when it dawns from fears." -Walter Scott

tonight was lovely :) i went out to eat with jeff, but halfway there he told me he left his wallet at home, so we had to turn around. little did i know, he was surprising me with a visit to my one and only/favorite "niece!" i love ruby so much, and she was extra cute tonight. after spending lots of time there getting quality ruby time, we went to eat at ham's. i think it is more of a local restaurant, but i think it of sort of like applebee's. it's got a little bit of everything. i wasn't overly hungry, so i ordered the grilled chicken salad, minus the cheese, with balsamic vinaigrette. it wass really good. i guess i have a thing for simple dishes :) the reason i wasn't too hungry might have had something to do with the fact that i finished off a jar of peanut butter with my yogurt snack an hour beforehand...:)

after food, we headed to target to find some christmas items for the boy i "adopted" for my HOSA (health occupation students of america) project. we spent way too much time screwing around in there...i wish i had pictures but they are on my phone! i really need to start using my camera more often. after an hour or so, we managed to come out with a pair of pants, a winter coat, two shirts, and a medium-sized toy car. unfortunately, i had to drop him off at his house after that and come home...boo.

so i think i'm menopausal. i'm having a MAJOR hotflash at the moment. as in it just came on as i'm typing this. and i'm sweating...this girl is NOT used to being hot. i'm usually cold, so i'm not sure what to do about this :) anyways...

today was another reminder of how far i have come since this time last year. this time last year, my max fat intake was upwards of 10g. i probably had 4x that just in peanut butter alone today. fat is such a beautiful thing. pretend that doesn't sound ridiculous. people are so scared of it because they think it will make them fat, but it only will if you eat too much of it just like anything else: carbs, protein, even vegetables! it's all about balance and moderation, and of course, the right fats. fats do so many great things for you! the list goes on and on, but here are a few things:

1. regulates body functions
2. absorbs fat soluble vitamins D, E, and K
3. growth
4. healthy skin
5. satiety value is high (keeps you fuller longer)
   
6. it satisfies you
7. your heart and brain need it to function!
8. helps memory

eating such little fat for that long period of time did horrible things to my body and mind! some examples would be:

1. memory loss
2. hair loss
3. dry skin
4. irritability and anger
5. stress and anxiety
6. zero energy
7. pale complexion (more than my usual)

i also had troubles sleeping, but i'm not sure if that connection is there. the point is that fat is an important part of your diet, and it's not something to avoid. i'm sick of hearing about low-fat this low-carb this. it's not about depriving yourself of ANY nutrient. to have optimal function, your body has to have a balance of everything it needs!

rant over :)

but today, i ate a lot of healthy fats. tons of peanut butter, bread with seeds in it, full fat "cheese", balsamic vinaigrette, and crushed pecans on an apple crisp (if you want to call that healthy) :) it amazes me what i can do every single day. my life is so much better now that food is not my life. i mean, obviously i still love it! i don't think that will ever go away. the point is that i love it in a positive way. i don't see food as a negative thing, or something to be scared of and stress over. food=fuel. and tasty fuel at that.

well, i'm off to bed hopefully. or maybe i'll actually do my poetry explication tonight. we'll see how it goes.

ciao bella :)