now, i'm not saying chocolate isn't healthy ;) but let's just say copious amounts have been consumed.
and then in europe, it was tons of food and lots of this:
and i've basically turned into this hot guy:
and drank WAY too many of these:
let's just say i've gained quite a few pounds.
PLEASE DO NOT FRET! in no way am i going on a diet! HELL NO. that part of my life is over and done with. but i was just starting to feel blah. i do not think i am fat. i actually love my body and all of it's curves...except my boobs, but in due time ;)
the whole point of this post is to try to get some motivation. i feel like i'm just letting myself go in every aspect of my life, especially school. i sign out so much it's not even funny. i need to hear from you guys again! i know it's been so long since i've been blogging and maybe i need to start again.
health wise, i know i need to make some changes. here is my proposed plan:
-get at least 30 minutes of exercise daily.
-stop snacking all day long! it makes me feel so weighed down, and i know it's out of boredom. and because i have always been able to justify it because of ED.
-eat bigger breakfasts.
-eat at least one salad a day.
-funny side story: i have eaten this salad every day the past week and it is AMAZING, yet i almost made my mother and father throw up. maybe my taste buds are completely out of whack and i have no idea where i go this idea from, but here we go. my salad contains: a shitload of spinach, turkey slices, shredded carrots, sliced red pepper, broccoli slaw,mushrooms, beets, a glob of sabra, a tbsp of peach jam, vegan parmesean cheese and balsamic vineagrette. crazy? yes. delicious? HELL YES.
-stop drinking so much diet coke. i was literally drinking 4-6 a day. for right now, i say 2 is my max. baby steps, people.
-try to eat more balanced meals. not just a bowl of fries because i can.
-portion control! now this sounds like a diet, but it's more like eat until i am full instead of so stuffed i just take a nap. yes, i do that almost everyday now.
-BLOG! i am missing you guys :)
maybe this wasn't the best thing to put on a former ED blog, but people can say what they want. i've been at the gym and eating better for about a week now and i feel 93245349857984375 times better! and my clothes still fit the same, so i'm assuming i'm not losing weight, which isn't my goal anyways. if anything, i just want to tone up :) i'm lifting more instead of solely relying on the treadmill. and i feel amazing. and i know this new healthy life i want to implement is not ED related because i am NOT afraid of fats. in fact, i love them! lemme holla at that almond butter and hummus :) have you read this amazing lady's post on fats? i don't count calories either, so don't ask.
sorry this post is so sporadic, but here are a couple of other side notes to serve as catch-ups:
-my back is still messed up. it is getting to where it always wakes me up at night. maybe i should get it checked out now that soccer is over. opinions?
-there are no boys in my life! weird, huh? :)
-i have taken two A.P. tests in the past two days. talk about a nightmare. (calculus tuesday, literature and comp. today)
-i am still awaiting my dorm assignment from n.c. state. i had one a few days ago, but apparently they had to go back and redo everyone's rooms. so for now, i'm homeless.
-almond butter is the new peanut butter. i'm in love.
-graduation is june 15th! counting down the days...still no word on whether i'll be valedictorian!-i feel like i have so much more to talk about, but now that i'm blogging i'm sure i'll be back to talk!
-in the meantime, here are some random pictures...
senior night...last soccer game!
n.c. state senior send-off dinner
they got nothin' on you, baby
failed attempt at get an au naturale tan.
another prom pic.
bffs since elementary school :)
first dance to last prom, baby!
exciting news coming up, stay tuned!
ciao bella
heya girl, i'm not sure what others will say about my comment, but this is what i think. you may take is as you wish because in the end, it's only your [healthy] opinion that matters. anyway, i think it's a great idea that you're taking a look at your lifestyle and want to make some progressive changes in order to make you live a healthier life in general. i think it is more than reasonable to want to feel amazing. even though it may sound like an ED minirelapse to some, i don't think it is because ED can go both ways. although ED can make people restrict, it can also make us go a little too far (though i'm not saying you did). happy medium is definitely the place to be. i support you on your new goals, and especially look forward to you blogging more. i've missed you, girlie!
ReplyDeletehave a lovely day!
xox
mandie, thank you so much for the positive feedback, it means a lot! i wasn't really going in the opposite direction, but i didn't want to gain weight in an unhealthy manner and then relapse like you hear about so much after ED. i love my happy medium and i feel great :)
ReplyDeletelove you dear!
♥ lindsey
Lindsay-
ReplyDeleteSo nice to see you back! I don't think that your thoughts are unreasonable at all; you seem to have reached a point in your recovery where considering lifestyle choices like this is not a major risk.
Still, make sure that you are careful. You know that ED takes anything he can and runs with it, so just remain mindful.
Continue to embrace life and your curves! You are beautiful.
ahhh linds i'm so proud of how far you have come :] it's so motivating to hear. as long as you don't do anything to trigger old ED thoughts, i think making healthy lifestyle changes is great if you are doing it for the right reasons!
ReplyDeleteahh the soccer picture is my favorite :] it reminds me of how much i loved soccer, being a part of the team. i really want to get back to that...
love you darling.
Hi Lindsey,
ReplyDeleteI'm new to reading your blog but I just wanted to say that I think you're a great writer. You really put life, emotion and/or humour into your blogs, and I look forward to reading more! :)
You look beautiful in your prom pictures!
ReplyDeleteI'm so happy to hear how far you've come with your recovery. your mentality about how your body is changing for the better is great and I love the goals you have set out for yourself!